Relational Mindfulness

Relational Mindfulness

The greatest challenge for human beings is how to stay present in the beautiful, dynamic, and messy field of human relating.
Relational Mindfulness offers 9 Buddhist teachings for bringing presence, clear-seeing, and compassion to how we relate – whether we are at work, with family, on a date, in conflict, or engaging with world issues and politics.
Relational Mindfulness is a set of principles and practices for erasing the myth of separation and remembering the intrinsic interconnection that is who we really are.
The quality of every relationship we will ever have stems from the quality of our relationship with ourselves.

These restorative  practices can be integrated into every moment of life. This work is based on Eden’s new book, Relational Mindfulness: A Handbook for Deepening Our Connection With Ourselves, Each Other, and the Planet,

The Principles of Relational Mindfulness

Here is a summary of the 9 components for Relational Mindfulness, which we learn through formal and informal practice. The practice points us to freedom and authenticity in how we relate.

Intention – Relational Mindfulness begins with the intention to pay attention moment by moment and to use our life experience to deepen awareness.

The Sacred Pause – Each time we take a sacred pause and turn our attention within, we invite ourselves to return – from the mind of separation – to whole mind awareness.

Deep Listening – To listen deeply is to listen from full presence… and is the essence of Relational Mindfulness. To listen to life, moment by moment, as it unfolds… to listen to one another in a more attentive way. The more we deeply listen, the more attunement and receptivity we bring to each moment. Relational Mindfulness invites us to cultivate deep listening with every opportunity.

Mindful Inquiry & Clear Seeing – Mindful Inquiry means to inquire into our present moment experience, to investigate our personal and collective conditioning. We ask questions such as, “Through what lens am I perceiving?” “Is this really so?” “Am I listening to truth or delusion?” “How is the mind of separation operating within me, moment by moment, and what is possible from whole mind awareness?” We don’t fill in the answer. We wait for it to present itself and remain in the space of deep listening. The more we become aware of the amounts of energy that we’ve been giving to stories, the easier it becomes to return to undistorted reality.

Turning Towards, Rather Than Away – When discomfort, pain, or fear of intimacy arises, we turntowards, rather than away from it. Most of have been taught to turn away from or try to escape the challenges we face, or to escape intimacy. But challenge is a natural and inevitable part of being human. Relational Mindfulness invites us to turn towards discomfort instead and to be with it, no matter what.

Taking Responsibility

As we deepen awareness, we become more accepting of the fact each of us contains authenticity and goodness and each of us contains conditioning. We learn to take responsibility for our conditioning, so that we can impact the world around us more consciously.

Not Taking Personally – One of the ways that we maintain the bubble of separate self is by taking things personally. We take our thoughts and emotions (which continually arise and pass) personally. We take things other people say personally, whether or not they have anything to do with us. We even take the weather personally. We strengthen our self-referencing bubble every time we take things personally. By practicing not taking life personally, we are more positioned to see clearly. This means both to see the bigger picture and to see ourselves within the bigger picture. Not taking personally helps us to stay connected to the consciousness of “We.”

Transparency – As we deepen in Relational Mindfulness, we learn to be transparent about our experience within ourselves and with others. This means allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and honest, even when it is difficult. Transparency helps us to see ourselves and others with acceptance and clear perspective, acknowledging the complexity and contradiction that we can embody in any given moment as human beings. Transparency affirms the interconnected self, while judgment, defense, and compartmentalization affirms separate self or ego.

Compassionate Action – When we pause, listen deeply, and inquire into our experience, compassionate action can arise in the form of insight, intuition, and self-knowledge. If there is a response required, kind and appropriate action may avail itself to us with little effort.



“Eden Tull meets us where we live: in constant interaction with self, other, world. What she offers is both ancient and to the moment.
She draws on the Buddha’s timeless teachings, absorbed in her years as a monk, and ripened now by her engagement with the challenges
of a society in crisis. Our work together has generated my great respect for her integrity, deepening my appreciation for this marvel of
a book.”–Joanna Macy, author, Coming Back to Life.