WAKING UP TOGETHER:

A MONTHLY RELATIONAL MINDFULNESS SERIES

WHEN: 1st Thursday of the month, 6:30-8pm EST, Thursday, April 4, 2024 - Thursday, December 5, 2024 (We will not meet in July and will meet the 2nd Thursday in September, 9/12/24)

WHERE: In-person event hosted by Social Sangha at Quietude, 1130 Montreat Rd, Black Mountain, NC 28711

ABOUT: Relational Mindfulness is about healing the myth of separation through our relationship with self, one another, and our planet. It teaches 9 timeless principles for awakening through the beautiful, dynamic, and complex field of human relationship. The practice of Relational Mindfulness keeps us honest by showing us when and where it is difficult to remain fully present when engaging with others. Sitting alone on a meditation cushion is a wholly different exercise than engaging socially, at work, in conflict, or romance.

Or is it? 

Just as the breath provides an anchor when we sit, deep listening - within and out - can be our anchor in social interactions. Meditation is - in essence - the practice of listening to life as it unfolds moment by moment.

Intimacy begins with our willingness to see clearly - beyond the myth of separation. We have to learn how to “be with” the pretty and not-so-pretty aspects of ourselves without needing to, fix, solve, or change anything. In this way the ground of being or shared presence becomes the gateway to personal and collective healing.

The principles of Relational Mindfulness are: Intention, The Sacred Pause, Deep Listening, Mindful Inquiry & Clear Seeing, Turning Towards Rather Than Away, Taking Responsibility, Not Taking Personally, Transparency, and Compassionate Action. Join us for a monthly sangha gathering. We will focus on one principle each month. Our gatherings will include meditation, relational mindfulness practice in pairs or small groups, guided inquiry, and facilitated dharma discussion. All are welcome. 

Details about Eden's book: Relational Mindfulness, a handbook for deepening our connection with ourselves, each other, and the planet.

The Principles of Relational Mindfulness 

Intimate relating begins with the self. It is a toxic fantasy to believe that we can be intimate with  others when we have not learned (or are afraid) to be intimate with ourselves.

-Gerry Greenswald

Here is a summary of the 9 components for Relational Mindfulness, which we learn through formal and informal practice. The practice points us to freedom and authenticity in how we relate.  

Intention – Relational Mindfulness begins with the intention to pay attention moment by moment and to  use our life experience to deepen awareness.  

The Sacred Pause – Each time we take a sacred pause and turn our attention within, we invite ourselves  to return – from the mind of separation – to whole mind awareness.  

Deep Listening – To listen deeply is to listen from full presence... and is the essence of Relational  Mindfulness. To listen to life, moment by moment, as it unfolds... to listen to one another in a more  attentive way. The more we deeply listen, the more attunement and receptivity we bring to each moment.  Relational Mindfulness invites us to cultivate deep listening with every opportunity.

Mindful Inquiry & Clear Seeing – Mindful Inquiry means to inquire into our present moment  experience, to investigate our personal and collective conditioning. We ask questions such as, “Through  what lens am I perceiving?” “Is this really so?” “Am I listening to truth or delusion?” “How is the mind of  separation operating within me, moment by moment, and what is possible from whole mind awareness?”  We don’t fill in the answer. We wait for it to present itself and remain in the space of deep listening. The  more we become aware of the amounts of energy that we’ve been giving to stories, the easier it becomes  to return to undistorted reality.  

Turning Towards, Rather Than Away – When discomfort, pain, or fear of intimacy arises, we turn  towards, rather than away from it. Most of have been taught to turn away from or try to escape the  challenges we face, or to escape intimacy. But challenge is a natural and inevitable part of being human.  Relational Mindfulness invites us to turn towards discomfort instead and to be with it, no matter what.    

Taking Responsibility – As we deepen awareness, we become more accepting of the fact each of us contains authenticity  and goodness and each of us contains conditioning. We learn to take responsibility for our conditioning,  so that we can impact the world around us more consciously.  

Not Taking Personally – One of the ways that we maintain the bubble of separate self is by taking things  personally. We take our thoughts and emotions (which continually arise and pass) personally. We take  things other people say personally, whether or not they have anything to do with us. We even take the  weather personally. We strengthen our self-referencing bubble every time we take things personally. By  practicing not taking life personally, we are more positioned to see clearly. This means both to see the  bigger picture and to see ourselves within the bigger picture. Not taking personally helps us to stay  connected to the consciousness of “We.”    

Transparency – As we deepen in Relational Mindfulness, we learn to be transparent about our  experience within ourselves and with others. This means allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and honest,  even when it is difficult. Transparency helps us to see ourselves and others with acceptance and clear  perspective, acknowledging the complexity and contradiction that we can embody in any given moment  as human beings. Transparency affirms the interconnected self, while judgment, defense, and  compartmentalization affirms separate self or ego.    

Compassionate Action – When we pause, listen deeply, and inquire into our experience, compassionate  action can arise in the form of insight, intuition, and self-knowledge. If there is a response required, kind  and appropriate action may avail itself to us with little effort.  

Excerpt from Relational Mindfulness: A Handbook for Deepening Our Connection with Ourself, Each Other, and Our Planet DeborahEdenTull.com ©2016

Other Details:

Access to community and wisdom should be available to everyone, so all sangha events are offered for free. Following ancient buddhist practice, we collect danā. Danā is a Pali word that denotes a special kind of giving. It means “generosity” or “giving freely. Danā is a practice of a mutual exchange of generosity and abundance. It develops lovingkindness and compassion, deepens awareness of our interconnectedness and encourages non-attachment. If this kind of giving is available to you, there will be a donation box at this event. Donations will go to support our valued teacher. Any amount is welcome. One suggested amount is $15.

Quietude is a micro-retreat center dedicated to the cultivation of mindfulness and the inner life. It provides a container for awareness, introspection, and personal development. Quietude is rooted in the understanding that we all benefit from periodically taking time out from our day-to-day routines and responsibilities.